.gripes.
5:05 p.m. || 2005-03-13
[mood: turned around in a not so good way 
]
Look at that face up there. That is exactly the inner-face of myself right now.
If JoshuaWoo is in time to see this, I welcome him greatly. I'm not really a fantastic person, right now I'm reduced to 'problem girl' again.
Well, I'll start off in the morning then. Everyone thought I looked so tired. I'm not sure, I always look tired for some reason, and I told Claire that but she said today was exceptional. Had a lovely service talking about justice. I felt something when the Reverend asked, "Why does Jesus still love us" and such.
After that I went to catch Hitch alone, only because all my close friends had to bail out on me and watch it with their other school friends. I am slightly bitter about that. But I met someone in the cinema, who sat next to me, was alone as well, and was a Mormon. He was a dark-skinned guy with a punk-goth fashion sense who had a sweet way with words---
By the way, if you're thinking I'm swayed, I suggest you go bob for apples.
---and broke up with his 28 year old girlfriend just four days ago. He's nineteen. Then he gave me his book, Stand A Little Taller, that said, "Counsel and Inspiration For Each Day of the Year" at the bottom of the front cover. He's definitely not my type. But anyway, spending time with him, I was wondering pretty deeply what a Mormon was. Hence 'Research Mode' calls.
I came home to the muffled throat-tearing scream of my quarreling parents. This time it was about joss sticks.
I'm just sad that my dad just refuses to understand why we worship Jesus Christ, because in his context (as I'm trying not to chuckle bitterly) Jesus Christ is just a prophet whose main purpose on Earth was to spread the 'Dao', which was supposed to be someone's pass to heaven. He just has some kind of otherworldly religious stick shoved up so far his anus it ruptured that part of his brain that made all logical sense. There's no such thing as five united religions. There's certainly no way that God chooses people for salvation. If that ever happened, heck, God would be just as bad as us humans.
But God doesn't choose who he wants, he just loves us all no matter how much of a shithead some of us are.
I just hope dad's gonna be able to turn around somehow.
What was even worse was that he said,
"If my children won't have the filial piety to hold a few joss sticks for me,
they shouldn't even come to my funeral."
Sadly, I don't think I'll be going to my own father's funeral.
On a less saddening note, I have that test tomorrow. Shaun is going too! So just pray that Soong, Vic, Shaun and I are able to get into mass comm. I feel so much better about the test now that all this has happened; it gives me something to do and run away to. Plus, I can fake all the world news knowledge that I have.
There will be many a time where everyone's faith will be tested somehow, it's at the back of our minds everytime.
I have a feeling, that my moment will be here before I know it.
:/.
This sucks ass.
Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male |
You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! |
You Have Good Karma |
Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots. |
You Are As Cool As They Come |
(You are more dramatic than 20% of the population.)
You roll with the punches, and nothing ever gets you too worked up. You are able to maintain perspective and see the big picture.
You're great at keeping it together, and you're rewarded for that. People see you as an ideal friend, employee, and partner. |
You Are a Life Blogger! |
 Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible. |
You Are A Realistic Romantic |
You are more romantic than 60% of the population. 
|
*feels so much better*
Update
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for
~John Mayer, "No Such Thing"
No. A person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody! ~Buffy, "I Only Have Eyes For You"
