.hymnal course.
8:44 a.m. || 2005-02-07
[mood: ok. 
]
I guess the last survey was too long. Hmm.
I'm quite tired, I don't think I really got any sleep last night. The room door was open and it was creepy when I suddenly realised that it was kind of cold. Window shut, but door open. Hmm.
Today is filled with much typing and updating of sorts. Gotta get all of that out of my system. :P.
In the meantime, I think I'll break off today with a short word of "I MISS EVERYONE" and fly away on a paper aeroplane.
Update, 7.18pm
[mood: better 
]
It looks like I have alot of garbage entries in store, because my laptop is a little slower and because I was impatient, I just clicked too many times. :/.
While listening to the FF 9 Piano Collections I realised that some songs are supposed to be played like you're almost gonna split all your fingers in eight directions. Yikes. I felt a little intimidated, but I guess I'll just have to get into practice to play what I like.
Speaking of which, I may be jamming with the guys this sunday. Finally! After almost three months of postponing, I get to rattle off music that I can create with the rest of the guys.
My brother and I played Silent Hill 4: the Room today. Ok, yes, Mark played that yesterday. But he and I took turns with the controller this time. We didn't have enough space on our memory card (he'd better remember to get a new one. :P) so we couldn't save anything, and the file is a whopping 715kb. That's a little big for an RPG, don't you think? Nevermind. Few would know what I mean anyway.
It's been about 3 hours or so since I played it and I'm still feeling the little shiver crawl up my spine when I think about wall demons. Bleh. I mean, ok, gore, but I'm all used to that after awhile. But I AM NOT USED TO FRICKING INVINCIBLE GHOSTS. -hides-. I suppose a large portion of the game would consist of running away, which I would so very gladly do for the most part. I'm so fraidy that I jumped when a demon dog pounced on me. That game is creepy. I'll still touch it again, but I'll never play Resident Evil, which tells you something.
Talking about that just makes me creeped already. Thanks to someone's hugs and well wishes, I guess the shaky old me is a little more stable now.
This morning my dad told me about his belief. I felt this great cringe cmoming on, listening to him speak ill (not really, but lower) of Jesus Christ, which I'm still upset about. I wanted to scream and say, "Dad, you don't understand, Jesus and God are one and the same, and the cross is just symbolic, it's not the TAO or Way or whatever!" But he told me that the five religions of the world were one and the same, and it made me mad to hear him say that Jesus was just a prophet and was given salvation by John the Baptist.
Gahhhh. Bullfunky. Really. We were sitting on a stone bench waiting for me to be called by the nurse, when he told me all of his ways. I just couldn't get up to tell him what I really felt inside; all the love for God just inflating and ready to burst, waiting inside, but I said nothing. Maybe I just wouldn't feel right battering someone else's religion/beliefs/ideology. Maybe I just couldn't talk back to my father.
Maybe it was because I just felt like I was going to cry.But after that morning, we didn't speak about it anymore, which was a good thing. My dad needs to open his eyes so much. He thinks that he can save someone just by making them bow to three lit oil lamps and telling them a convolution of stories that were meant to be a mixture of everything religious you've probably heard.
Sometimes I just wonder if my dad really chose to be this way.
My mother always told me to marry a strong Christian; and I'll never go back on that advice, being a child of parents that believe in two different things. I do know how it feels to have parents spar on something so touchy as religion. It wouldn't be a good day at all, it wouldn't even be a good week because it's always there in your face almost everyday. Sighs. I guess I'll always be listening to my mom, no matter how much I hate it sometimes.
At least your company cheers me. <:).
Chinese New Year, I don't think my money will be much after I use some of it for a few things. I'm not sure. I don't want to spend it at all, but I guess they're kind of necessities. Hmm.
We'll all be poor together.
Monday. I'm just waiting for it. x).
I love you Amanda!
No. A person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody! ~Buffy, "I Only Have Eyes For You"
